Merry X'MAS !!!

Ho!!! Ho!!! Ho!!! ......
So today I started my writing with Christmas Mood. But at the same it's remind me of those old stories that all the whole world know....Tsunami in Acheh and "Ribut Greg" in Sabah. Both of this catastrophic happen during the night of a holy Xmas....Even though is already inside the history but the it's still became a deepest wound inside some many hearts in the world. Right...i don't want to spoil the Christmas mood today with my sad stories that have touch so many people in the world but my pray and hope that let this be a hardest lesson for us and to remind us when the time's is up and the judgement day is arrive is no place for us to escape......

Corak Coret Hidup

Entah nak coret apa kat diari berjalan aku ni kan. Teringat jap akan hal keje, macam macam benda ada lucu, sedih ada, happy semuanya. Transformasi diri nampaknya memberikan sinar harapan well walau pun hanya nampak cahaya kelip kelip jer at least orang yang soon to be my superior tu setuju akan perpindahan aku ke tempatnya and memberikan sokongan penuh. Masalahnya sekarang hanya "our Lady Boss" yang buat ala ala tau tak tau jer padahal surat cintaku dah sampai ke tangan tuan punya diri. Kalau la aku ni manusia yang tak de adab, aku ikut jer prosedur yang sepatutnya tapi memandangkan ada dah keja lama ngan dia kira nak berbahasa basi la kunun mengenai pengunduran diriku ini. Namun konklusinya sangat menghampakan. Benarnya kata orang " perempuan kekadang tak pernah matang especially when emotional feels involve" susahlah macam ni. Well kita tinggalkan citer keje aku yang boring gile and not healthy at all.

Tepat ari ni aku rasa dah seminggu aku meluahkan juga my emotional breakdown pasal kes kawin kawin tu kan. Well malam ni sepatutnya "Malam berinai" buat empunya diri...Aku happy ngan kebahagiaan dia. Tapi kekadang confuse juga yelah sehari sebelum bergelar suami orang, he rang me again. Entahlah apa yang dia nak tanya tapi tak cakap apapun....just leave me with question mark...berbirat kat hati. Ehem...susah betullah nak predict orang punya mentaliti. Lupakan kes dia sebab kurang dari 24 jam dia dah menempuh alam kehidupan yang baru. Namun pintaku ikhlas seikhlasnya, please be happy and don't call me anymore, i'm not a part time psychiatry to heal any of your unconditional love towards your self or you love one. Hemmm... Kesinambungan kes ni, kawan yg merangkap telinga kiri ku yelah tempat aku meluahkan isi hati, isi perut dan segala usus usus bercerita pasal love at first sight...lucu and excited luahannya mungkin dia tak menyangka dalam waktu macam ni boleh plak jadi terjatuh terus ke hati. "frenz selagi kita masih bergelar manusia benda benda ni normal lain la kalau kita dah bertukar jadi alien. Hahaha....Cupid stroke the arrow once again to you my dear friend but this time on the first strike....indah kan. Aku pun pernah rasa perasaan tu tapi seperti biasa it's not happy ending. Aku ni kepala batu...ego plus tau jaga air muka sendiri je. Orang tu pun sama juga tu lah jadinya "bebola daging" akhirnya saat tu " I'm always dreaming of you....... but not this time cos I'm a realistic person so I'm always stick to the reality that I've step in. Bunyi macam hypocrite and ego tapi tu lah kebenaran sebuah kehidupan....

Congratulation....Chukahamnida.....

Don't know how to start my writing today. How do I express my feeling? Well I'm quite a secretive girl in person but today my feeling quite mixed up with emotional and rational so end up I'm become sub conscious with my own feeling and mind

Out of the blue yesterday I've called up my so call Ex's to say hi suddenly the Hi's became emotional breakdown between the two of us. He started to ask so many personal things that end's up to all the question that related to the things that call Wedding. I've guess i have caught up in the situation that I've called "a wrong place in a wrong time". But don't get me wrong, the wedding bell is not for me it's for him...Congratulation in a first place my dear friend. It's really hard for me to say this to you but for your happiness and love life, please take good care of your love one. Be serious this time and the most important things is be a good husband. Please forget all the past that we have shared together. I've been move on since the last time we have our last talk and back to reality that both of us we're not be meant to be together. Maybe I was not good choice for you or perhaps you were so good to me that I was not deserved for your kindness.

From the bottom of my heart, I really happy that you have finally find someone that can take care and love you not like i do. Because of a calls that I've made yesterday, I've totally regretted it. Please don't change your mind, forget me, no cold feet cos I can hear the wedding bell around the corner for you. Lucky for me you don't choose my favorite number to be your special day if not hate me if I'm saying you still can't forget our past. Please don't be a runaway groom if not I will not only hate you but will forever and ever vanish for the rest of our life........

Once again, congratulation...Omedeto....chukahamnida, Be the most Handsome Groom and the happiest Man alive on your wedding day.....